Finally! The moment Jews, Arabs, and Christians have been waiting for has arrived! After years of violence due ethnic and cultural differences (among other things), after years of believing no solution was possible, a hero, nay our hero, has finally been found!

From the humble work of plumbing, a star was born:

No, not that plumber…

That plumber!

CNN reports that Samuel Wurzelbacher, AKA “Joe the Plumber”, will be covering the recent conflict between Israel and Gaza. Forgetting that his name was completely changed as a political ploy to stereotype an entire industry, for 10 days this plumber will be reporting from an Israeli perspective on behalf of conservative pjtv.com.

Now some of you may ask: Who is this “Joe the Plumber”? Why would he cover the Gaza conflict? Or, what are his reporting credentials? And to that I call you a communist! Since this man already symbolically personifies America, why shouldn’t he actually represent us?

“It’s tragic, I mean it really is,” Joe told WNWO, “I don’t say that in any little way. It’s very tragic, but at the same time what are the Israeli people supposed to do.” I couldn’t say it better myself.